THE ABILITY TO REFLECT ON OURSELVES

I think one of the hardest things to learn as we grow older is how to look back at ourselves honestly.

When someone disagrees with us, our natural reaction is often to explain, defend ourselves, or prove that we are right. I do this too. It is uncomfortable to consider that something I have believed for a long time may not be completely right, or that the way I see a person or situation may be incomplete.

But as I grow older, I realize that sometimes the most important question is not, “Who is right and who is wrong?” but rather, “Is there something I haven’t seen yet?”

Self-reflection does not mean doubting everything we believe. It also does not mean changing our opinions whenever someone disagrees with us. There are times when we should stand firmly by our values, beliefs, and boundaries.

But before reaching a conclusion, perhaps we should be calm enough to examine ourselves first.

Am I responding to the truth, or is my ego hurt?

Do I actually have evidence for what I believe?

Am I judging someone based on only a small part of the story?

And if I am wrong, am I humble enough to admit it?

I don’t think maturity means making fewer and fewer mistakes. Perhaps it means becoming quicker at recognizing our mistakes and more willing to correct them.

Knowledge may help us know more, but wisdom reminds us how much we still do not know.

So I want to learn to leave a small pause before reacting to something that makes me uncomfortable.

Not to react immediately. Not to judge too quickly.

Just to quietly ask myself:

“Is there something in myself that I need to look at again?”

Perhaps the ability to reflect on ourselves is one of the quietest ways we become wiser.